I prayed …

I prayed …

It was chilly
It was cold
It was bloody freezing
I prayed she would change: her mind
But “He” just laughed.

It was raining
It was wet
It was bloody soaking
I fasted: till I lost some pounds
But “He” wasn’t moved.

It was sunny
It was bright
It was bloody cooking
I thought I laboured: in his vineyard
But “He” saw my unbelieve

It was fresh
It was breezy
It was bloody leaves-dropping
I have never wished for anything: more
But “He” wouldn’t be “manipulated”

It was chilly
It was cold
It was bloody freezing
I prayed she would change: her mind
But “He” just laughed.

 

* First and last stanza are the same to illustrate life’s unending cycle – or maybe my mental laziness.

The gates of forever

The gates of forever

Few run swiftly
Through the gates
Fewer know whence the gates
The forever gates

They open but one way
To bless or not the day
Only shades pass the other way
Nothing to do but pray

Remember me when am gone
All the good I have done
Maybe some words I have said
My shape on the bed

The forever gates
They carry a date for all that live
Do not think of them as baits
But surely something must give

And when it’s time
Everything just rhymes
You hear the sound as it grates
The forever gates

February 12, 2014, 10:43PM

Nothing Changes

Nothing Changes

Time passes. Nothing changes. Nothing remains the same.

I parked in front of the the health center  I walked to Awo hall. Past the Porters lodge at the entrance. I passed in front of the old meals hall. Where students probably sat two to a table to have their meals: that died way before my time. I went down the walkways towards block two. Students passed by: I could be one of them.
Cloths spread out on the fields to dry. Students reading. Students doing their washing. Students playing football in the field between the 2-story hostel blocks two and three.
I remember once when people tried as much as possible not to walk through that field, it was OK as long as you didn’t stray from the tiny winding path that runs through the field. Because in the overgrown bits lay mangled remains of decades of destruction, everything broken and rusted: beds, chairs, bottles, plastics, etc.
One wrong step and you are off to the Medical Center.
Then one idle Saturday the students decided to fix up the field for football. I had thought it was an impossible fit, but the spirit of the game came over them. They couldn’t have worked harder if they were paid. All that day they laboured to move the junk and tip it over the fence behind the hall.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The old empty tiled fountain place is still there.
I was here that night when they (Black Axe) came for “Afrika” (the student union Sec. Gen.). The immediate artificial blackout once students realised what was going on. The shots. Come morning 5 students lay dead.
I crossed the open space and went under hostel block 7. “Tope” lived there I remembered.
I entered the meals hall. A few heads turned in my direction. Maybe it is the echo of my heels on the terrazzo floor. Maybe not.
I walked randomly to a table and sat diagonally across from some guy reading his “hand out” and making notes in an exercise book.

I put my phone on silent. No mobiles when I was a student. Is there a rule against phones ringing in the reading room? How is it enforced?
I put my phone on silent.
I write this.
The “Man-o-War” group jogs past outside on the road towards Mozambique. Blowing whistles and singing songs. Some will be brilliant enough to juggle extracurricular activities with their studies and still make good grades; most will barely make a passing grade. Some will fail.

Time passes. Nothing changes. Nothing remains the same.

I drove to the Sports Complex.
An Olympic sized swimming pool is in place. The supporting structures are under construction.
I used to go watch the body builders do their thing. The place seems locked.
I am on the concrete walkway that separates the main field from the several fenced courts for various other games.

There are groups of students. Various little groups. Evangelising. Fellowshiping.
A lady walked to and fro in one of the fenced courts. She is praying probably in tongues.

I listened in on one of the groups. The speaker says “Keep praying. God wants to see your perseverance.” He used Daniel as an illustration.

“The Realist” is otherwise engaged. I should be going.

The praying lady has disappeared. Replaced by many more groups in different enclosed areas. One man lies down on the hard tarmac face down with his head in his hands. One holds on to the chain linked fence. Three guys pray in a tight group. Some girls walk up carrying musical instruments.
Several fellowships will hold this evening (as usual) I think. More people are showing up with Bibles and walking past.

One group is using one of the covered arenas. They have a VIP table (for the event anchors I think) with a couple of people. Girls are always more spiritual than boys. Most of the group are girls: possibly 45 of the 60 or so people.
It’s time to go.
Seventy-seven kilometers of the wide open road are ahead of me.

If she is happy, then it is OK. That’s all that matters. My sins might not be forgiven nor forgotten, but they shouldn’t matter as much.

Time passes. Nothing changes. Nothing remains the same.

Nothing changes.

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